Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Katrina Commission Report

Just like the "9/11 Commission" was created as a way to Blame Bush for terrorist killers, there will be a "Katrina Commission" formed to try and Blame Bush for the destruction and looting in the Gulf Coast. Let's fast-forward several months and join the Katrina Commission in one of its hearings.

Commission Chair Chris Matthews: "So, you admit that Bush knew ahead of time that there were no WMDs in Iraq and yet he still did nothing to stop this hurricane?"

SECDEF Rumsfeld: "What the f**k do WMDs have to do with New Orleans?"

Commission Co-Chair Jaime Gorelick: "Don't jump over that Wall, Mr. Secretary of War! You can't see anything on this side of the Wall, or even allude to the existence of the Wall!"

Commission Member Richard Ben-Veniste: "Our good friend 'Dick' Clark said you were directly responsible for ignoring his dire and oft repeated warnings of the imminent danger posed by Karl Rove's evil NOAA 'Weather Making Hell Machine'."

Rumsfeld: "Are you guys crazy? NOAA doesn't make weather, it just reports on..."

Gorelick: "Stop talking about things that aren't on your side of the Wall!"

Matthews: "Speaking of Walls, is it true that Pentagon staff are required to listen to 8 straight hours of Pink Floyd before every strategy session?"

Rumsfeld: "What? Pink Floyd? No, that's only used on terrorists in Gitm... I mean, I've never heard of it/them/whatever"

Gorelick: "You said 'Gitmo'! I heard it! Chris, did you hear it? Richie, did you hear it?"

Ben-Veniste: "Hooray! He finally admits that he endorsed the 'Torture of Peace-Loving, Puppy-hugging Innocent Civilians'!"

Matthews: "Off with his head! Impeach Bush! Where's my blood pressure medicine?"

Gorelick: "Save the Wall! Mr. Gorbachev, rebuild this Wall"

Rumsfeld: "Why didn't I bring something with more stopping power than this .223? Oh, heck. I can take a few of them out..."

--- end transcript

It will get worse. Lets make fun of anti-American pinko hippies now! Why? Well, 'cause they are in dire need of a good ass-woopin'.