Tuesday Funny

Back then!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning .. uphill BOTH ways. through year 'round blizzards. Carrying their younger siblings on their backs ... to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full- time, after-school job at the local textile mill .... where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that...

I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a Pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and fast er and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up .. we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire . imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980.

Brought to you by Mike H.

Carnival of Contests?

I don't think there is one yet, but maybe its time. Here are a couple to throw on the carousel.

Bloggin' Outloud has the Best So Far Blog Awards taking nominations through Wednesday. That's right, only two more days to nominate your favorite blogs in the categories:

1. January's Best Pet Blogs
2. January's Best Political Blogs
3. January's Best LinkFest Blogs
4. January's Best Religious Blogs
5. January's Best Humor Blogs
6. January's Best Personal Blogs


Next is Sgt. Snyder's "Why am I here?" essay contest for the guys and gals gettin' it done in Iraq. Contest submissions are being accepted until February 16, 2006 and the winner gets at least $250!

From the Will to Exist

The goal of this essay contest is to promote the American public’s awareness of the situation in Iraq and to help spread a better understanding of what it is like to be an American serviceperson serving in theater.

This contest has its genesis in the idea that this war will be won or lost based not on weapons or troop strength but based on public perception. Without the support of the American public, Iraq will not become free.

Trevor's written plenty of posts that could easily be entries in his own contest. Today's piece, You are reckless and wrong and you need to reconsider your worldview is a perfect example.

Free to Rock at Walter Reed

We got permits

Yes we do!
We got permits
How 'bout You?

There were no commie Pinkos blighting the entrance to Walter Reed again this week. In their place were happy, cheering supporters on All Four Corners delivering their thanks to the wounded warriors, caregivers, and families.

The 'tards were down the street in their makeshift vigil area, unseen by anyone entering or exiting the hospital. Heh.

We had signs and flags everywhere. Even in the trees! We got more honks, waves, cheers, HOOAHs and OORAHs from the passing traffic than any other night I've been out here. It was great!

The steadfast FReepers, Protest Warriors and grateful citizens who have given up their Friday nights for the last 41 weeks didn't seem exactly eager to end this weekly event. Last week we celebrated a victory over the anti-American Pinkos. This week we had the freedom (and room) to celebrate our heroes to whom we owe so much.

This week it was all about The Troops!

SPC Ben P. allowed himself to be dragged around and introduced to all the folks with me generally making a fuss over him. After suffering nearly fatal gunshot wounds in Ramadi and being given only a 4% chance of survival, Ben endured 28 surgeries (with one more to go) and months of painful recovery. He's a tough, determined young warrior who makes me so proud I could hug the stuffin' out of him!

Mr. Sparling was not out front with us tonight. He's been busy gathering all the necessary uniform elements for Joshua to be properly dressed when he appears as the guest of Sen. Debbie Stabenow at Tuesday's State of the Union Address. Pretty cool, huh?


Concretebob lettin' it be known who rules the roost now. To his left is another great supporter and blogger Tom the Redhunter, who has a follow-on to last week's post in Iraq War Fallacies: "The War Costs Too Much". Tom does a great job in this one poking holes in yet another assertion that the war in Iraq isn't worth our time, trouble or tax dollars.

We all know the media loves this quibbling over strategy and harping ad nauseum on the idea that nothing is being accomplished in Iraq. It's as if they're all wearing "good news" filters that block any sounds that might seem positive in nature.

In Comprehending the mindset of the mainstream media, Sgt. Snyder of the Will to Exist writes about a press conference where reporters are told a wonderful story about the gratitude of an entire city towards their American "saviors".

The mayor of Tall Afar, Najim Abdullah al-Jubouri, wrote in a letter to Gen. Casey that “our city was overrun by heartless terrorists, Zarqawi and his followers, who unloaded their bloodthirsty and voracious action of evil on this city for several months by indiscriminately killing men, women and children. Tall Afar was a human slaughterhouse. Simple services were not possible, causing the people to suffer, till the day you dispatched your troops, who were our lion-hearted saviors. Your troops came to rescue Tall Afar led by our heroes, whom Tall Afar will never forget. After the major operation, your wonderful soldiers started nursing the wounds of this city by rebuilding the damaged lives and buildings with great compassion and speed. These soldiers have done more than their original mission required of them. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.”

This heartwarming expression of gratitude from an Iraqi leader (who obviously feels liberated from a terrorist occupation) elicited exactly ZERO questions from the attendant "journalists" and, as Trevor discovered, wasn't even reported by the MSM.

Navy Wife and Danang68 brought their enthusiastic support for the troops as well as a new supporter for the corners. On the right is Doll of Freedom Watch who had such a good time she's already got her post up! Go read My First Friday on the Streets of Walter Reed.

Meanwhile, waaaaaaaay down the block...

The Pinkos perpetrated their pathetic pyrotechnic protest presumably for the passing pedestrians who pondered their purpose. What they definitely did NOT want was anyone documenting their little hate-fest.

tgslTakoma walked down the sidewalk to get some pics and this perceived incursion raised some furry Pinko fury.

From her post Code Pink Leader Has Tantrum at Walter Reed on FreeRepublic:

There I was, across the street, a six lane street. Just me. And my little camera.

I had gone down alone, with my camera and tripod to document their little public protest.

I had less than a minute's peace to take photos before Allison Yorra and Ann Wilcox of Code Pink came across and told me that I would have to leave the empty sidewalk, across the street from their protest, because they had a permit for where I was standing.

... By now, "Princess", Weasel and some guy with a black beret had joined Allison and Ann around me. They began to block my camera, which was focused on their public protest across the street. No matter which way I turned, there was Allison and her bully-boys.

So I stepped off the sidewalk and into the curb lane of the street, where MPDC does not issue permits unless the road is closed. Allison and the bullies quickly followed. I'd move. They'd move in front of me. I'd move again. They'd again block my view.

Despite her well earned reputation as a "fearless" FReeper, a few of us decided that tgslTakoma might be in need of backup and we headed down to the confrontation (cameras at the ready). This didn't sit well with the 'tards because they didn't have enough bodies to block all of us.

Allison got really bent out of shape when the other camera folk came down to film their gang assault on me. In a fit of anger, Allison Yorra yelled at us, calling us a bunch of nobodies and that nobody reads our blogs.

Check out her post for more commentary and pics of the backs of Pinko heads!

Here's "Princess" in his best cammo skirt.

And Weasel wondering when the torment of defeat will end.

It's too bad the commie Pinkos will never learn to appreciate the heroes in our midst. How they can fail to take pride in the bravery, dedication, selflessness and incredible intelligence of our defenders is beyond me.

I joined the Marine Corps over four years ago for the college money. Now that I am about to finish my tour, I am reflecting on what I got out of it. Yes, I will get the college money, but what I was given is much deeper than the materialistic values. I have the advantage of knowing that I served faithfully with the greatest fighting force in the world. I have the benefit of knowing that I was part of the strongest brotherhood known to man, a brotherhood whose members would gladly go to war with you and lay their lives on the line for you. I have the profit of knowing that I retain some of the strongest friendships that could ever exist, friendships that most people will never be lucky enough to experience in their entire lives. I have the honor of knowing that I am a United States Marine.

Did this small snippet from one of Sgt. M's essays choke you up just a little? Yeah, me too. Its a great feeling and just one of many reasons to say

YOU GUYS ROCK!

Can't Say Enough 'Bout This Team!

The members of the
District of Columbia Chapters of FreeRepublic
and
Protest Warrior
and the
Greater Richmond, VA Chapter of Protest Warrior
gratefully acknowledge the sacrifices of the members of the
United States Armed Forces

Their commitment to
Duty,
Honor,
Country
is an inspiration to each of us.

Without their sacrifices, we would not be free.

You are protecting our right to stand up for you
You are the definition of decency,
the embodiment of excellence,
and the meaning of strength

Your presence abroad is securing our safety at home.

And we Thank You
- concretebob

The anti-Gun Story that Wasn't

01/24/06 - Germantown, Maryland

Headline: Girl shot at daycare; Father of 8-year-old boy charged

• Junior finds Daddy's handgun in a hatbox in the closet, takes it to day care in his backpack and accidentally shoots a little girl.
• Daddy has a rap sheet a mile long.
• In the liberal paradise of Maryland, of all places!

And what's the reaction from the gun grabbers?

*yawn*

The little girl was taken to Children's National Medical Center in Washington, D.C., with a serious but non-life threatening injury.

"This is a harsh reminder that we can never be too careful when it comes to the safety of our children," the girl'’s father said in his statement. "‘Everyone has a responsibility to ensure that guns are kept unloaded, locked and out of children'’s reach to prevent incidents like this. This happens too often to innocent children. Parents need to realize how dangerous it is to keep guns in a place where their children can get to them. I don'’t want any parent to have to get a call like I got this morning."

Well, well, well - someone finally laying the blame on irresponsible parents rather than on eeeeeevil guns! Maybe there's hope for this state yet.

Tuesday Funny

"Teh funny" from TweetiePie.

Subject: cows

A Midwestern Perspective on Politics and Economics

DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk
the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your
stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably
crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately
they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send audio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The
Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants
control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in
half. The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally
vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for
neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a
bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the
best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders

Capt. Z on TV!

Chuck made his television debut tonight on CNN's "On the Story". He got to talk about the difference between what the MSM is reporting and what milblogs are revealing. Of course, they didn't air the really good parts (rants), but the Captain looked and sounded like he belonged in front of a camera!

You can catch the segment Sunday at 10am EST.

The Smell of Victory at Walter Reed

It begins.

FreeRepublic and Protest Warriors on commie CodePinko corners.

We occupied ALL FOUR CORNERS TONIGHT!!

See Code Pink Retreats from Walter Reed-Freepers Win! for the initial reports and subsequent comments and action.

In brief, the commie 'tards left us an opening and an enterprising patriot jumped in with both jackboots. The Pinkos failed to renew their protest permit and concretebob snagged their corners.

"This Corner under New Management"

Pinkos Bruce and wife arrive and the news is broken to them. Bruce didn't think a lack of permit was reason enough for us to stay on the corner. He whined "You know this is our corner, so why don't you just move along?" Like THEY
would ever be that nice?

Sorry commie - You snooze, you lose!

It was great to see the looks of confusion and angst on their faces. As a few more Pinkos wandered up for their weekly blood dance, they huddled and whispered to each other, trying to think of some way to get us to leave. They hung around and held their signs between us.

BufordP with the "Hippies Smell" sign next to comrade Wolf.

Mr. Sparling was handing out
beaded necklaces made by a group of Texas schoolchildren for his son Joshua and the other wounded warriors. Bruce claimed that he was not a religeous person and didn't want a necklace with a cross on it!
So much for supporting the Troops!

As the Pinko "big dogs" (read "bitches") arrive, the threats began.

bmwcyle and Doctor Raoul offered to call the cops for the
commies. Allison Yorra had the excuse "Permits lapse and people get busy...". Too busy to support the wounded?


We're not too freakin' busy!!

What a night! This was one for the history books of FreeRepublic v. CodePink. The satisfaction of seeing them in defeat was awesome.

Try as they might, they knew they had been outsmarted and out foxed.



Eventually they huddled together and decided to take their little "vigil" down the block.

Waaaay down the block!

Then the real celebrating began.

Sisku Hanne said it better than anyone. "Concrete 'What's my name, who's your daddy?' Bob was the HERO, totally punking and pawning the Pinkos! He rightfully earned the honor of planting the Marine and U.S. flags and Protest Warrior banners, turning previously pink corners to glorious red, white and blue!"



"A gentlemen was walking down the street and stopped at our corner with a sly smile on his face. Nodding to the 'corner under new management', he said 'Something's different. Things are looking really good around here'. I said, 'Yeah, we decided to do a little redecorating'. He chuckled and said, 'Well I like what you've done. It's a nice improvement!' Another gentleman pulled his minivan to the curb so his adorable little daughter could wave at us, putting her tiny palm to the window glass."
concretebob - OUR HERO!

"Beautiful clear, warm weather(for January) and no distasteful pinko gauntlet to run allowed quite a few of our recovering heroes and their SO's to come out and say 'hello'. What an honor! And Mr. Sparling is such a great guy - he gifted us with lovely cross necklaces thoughtfully sent to Joshua by a class of schoolchildren from Texas. He was the night's unofficial 'cheerleader' tirelessly visiting corner to corner all night long."

"Meanwhile, the disgraced and discomposed Pinkos huddled miserably halfway down the street, as the lights from their gratuitous little 'vigil' candles quickly faded to nothing."

"It was a soul-stirring moment when the WR bus came back from dinner. The driver swung into the entrance and stopped for quite a long time, turning on the inside light so we could cheer our beloved heroes and see their smiling faces. Chants of 'USA! USA! USA!' swelled as we exchanged hearty waves and thumbs-up with them. On the opposite side of the light a smaller WR transport van was also honking wildly, joining in for a heroes welcome."

As the Pinkos finally gave up for the evening, Tom the RedHunter and I walked down past their new hangout to get some shots of the losers. They quickly broke up the pity-party and headed
for their cars. Too much disgrace for one evening!



The taunting continued from the victors as the commies slunk away. With cries of "Pelosi says thanks!" we bid them goodnight and good riddance.

Sisku Hanne: "It was tough to go to sleep, with a face cramped from smiling, LOL! But I look forward to the new chapter of this FReep, because it's not over yet. The Pinkos may have scuttled halfway down the block but they are still there, and as long as they are, we will continue to counter their 'wolf in sheep's clothing' protest disguised as a "vigil". No soldier should ever have to be exposed to their disgusting treason! How many of our heroes came to WR as a result of the $600,000 Code Pink sent to the insurgents? How many of our heroes have been maimed or killed because Gael Murphy and Cindy Sheehan publicly proclaimed the 'right' of the insurgents to shoot at our troops? Commie-worshipping Pinkos give aid and comfort to the enemy, we will NEVER give them an unopposed moment. We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail!"



For once, the bus filled with wounded warriors returning from Fran O'Brien's was met with an entire intersection full of deleriously happy supporters.

A battle was won tonight, but the war is still on. I have no doubt that the stench of CodePink will be back next week and the great supporters of FreeRepublic and Protest Warrior will be there as well. Whatever it takes and however long it takes to free the street of their hateful kind of protest.

See another report from Tom in The Pinkos Sound Retreat! who has included more of the history of this conflict.