Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Beverly Kennedys - "Judgment Day"

Previous episode here

Let me tell you a little story 'bout a man named Ted
A rich northern Yank drank so much his nose was red
And then one day he was judging a new judge
When he got upstaged by a dude who wouldn't budge

Biden, that is
Hair Club for Men
Joltin' Joe

When the day's slug fest had finally shut down
The two big mouths couldn't keep the anger down
They met in the cloakroom and began to fight again
Joe got up in Teddy's face and said "Man you just can't win"

Arguments, that is
Thinkin' straight
Sober like

As the blows began to fly, Teddy threw his weight around
He tripped on a Page and "His Girthness" hit the ground
He let out a holler sounding something like "Grfleinsnting fin!"
Then rolled over Barney Frank, spilled his beer and dropped his gin.

Boiler maker, that is
Potent stuff
Drunkard's choice

Teddy staggered to his feet as Judge Roberts blocked the door
"You two guys fight fair and I'll gladly keep the score."
Teddy sucker punched The Hair and then groined him with a knee
As the Judge declare "The winner must go out and vote for me!"

Smack-down, that is
Neither wins
New guy gets in

Now in triumph did the Judge raise a glass to celebrate
Pumped his fist in the air shouting "Man, ain't I great?"
Just then Specter barged in barking "What the hell goes on?"
"I'm in charge of this hearing and you're out of time, morons!"

Order, that is
parliamentary rules
Gavel down

Now the moral of the story is Do Not Trust Ted
A rich northern Yank likes his dates best when they're dead
He'll kick you when you're down like he'll smash you when you're up
Just leave him a wide path when he's headed for the pub.

Y'all come back now, hear?