Tuesday, January 10, 2006

"Baghdad Bob" Zarqawi

This just in!

Inspired by both the style and content of “Baghdad Bob’s” TV appearances during the early part of OIF, added to the fact that “Baghdad Bob” is currently off the air, Abu Musab al Zarqawi, has leapt into the breach and produced the following:

“Al-Qaeda's leader in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, said in an audio tape put onto the Internet that rockets had been fired at Israel from Lebanon last month 'on the instructions' of the network's overall chief Osama bin Laden. "

Zarqawi also said the guerrillas had carried out nearly 800 operations against "the crusader forces" since the occupation of Iraq, putting "crusader" casualties at around 40,000 soldiers.
"Since the start of mujahedeen operations after the fall of the Baathist regime and until today, nearly 800 martyr operations aimed at crusader targets and military convoys have been carried out (...). We estimate casualties among the adorers of the Cross in Iraq at no less than 40,000 soldiers," he declared.

Rumors fly that MSN and CNN are in a bidding war to sign him to a contract as their Middle East Correspondent. Barbara Streisand said (after recovering from her *swoon*) "I just knew that neocon MSN and CNN were dramatically understating American military casualties. It’s about time the emotional truth came out" (emotional truth = how things should have been. A phrase commonly used in Hollywood USA to defend lies, mistakes and errors that have been pointed out in motion pictures. ie; Senator Joseph McCarthy is a liar and a devil … from “Good Night and Good Luck”.)

Several Hollywood directors scrambled to buy movie rights to Zarqawi’s soon to be revised life story. George Clooney, has been reportedly expressing interest in playing the part of Zarqawi. Recently George Soro’s bid to purchase Dreamworks library and is anxious to bring his old friend Abu into his stable of stars.
Okay, Okay - with the exception of the Zarqawi quote I made it up. But it is far more believable fiction than Hollywood makes up.

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