Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Top Ten People "Stuck On Stupid"

Radio Blogger has the transcript of General Honore giving some stoopid reporters what fer in what will soon become his legendary Don't Get Stuck on Stupid press conference. Read the whole transcript and Radio Blogger's commentary. Priceless stuff.
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin held a press conference a little bit ago, and started losing control to a media pool assembled that was showing signs of panic, due to the previous incompetence in the region by the local and state government. Lt. Gen. Russell Honore stepped in and literally took over.

Female reporter: Where do they move on...

Honore: That's not your business.

Male reporter: But General, that didn't work the first time...

Honore: Wait a minute. It didn't work the first time. This ain't the first time. Okay? If...we don't control Rita, you understand?


Honore: You're asking last storm questions for people who are concerned about the future storm. Don't get stuck on stupid, reporters. We are moving forward. And don't confuse the people please. You are part of the public message. So help us get the message straight. And if you don't understand, maybe you'll confuse it to the people.


Male reporter: General, a little bit more about why that's happening this time, though, and did not have that last time...

Honore: You are stuck on stupid. I'm not going to answer that question. We are going to deal with Rita.

Don't you just love this guy?

He has inspired me to come up with my very first "list" of something. So without further ado the Top Ten People who are Stuck On Stupid.

10. NO Mayor Ray Nagin
"I don't know whether it's the governor's problem, or it's the president's problem, but somebody needs to get ... on a plane and sit down, the two of them, and figure this out right now"
Yup, you got no role in this at all, huh?

9. LA Governor Kathleen Blanco
"We gave ourselves a false sense of confidence when we were counting on 500 buses that FEMA had ordered that did not come in until Wednesday night."
Was this before or after photos of your own underwater fleet hit the news?

8. Sen. Harry Reid:
"I think that he [Justice Thomas] has been an embarrassment to the Supreme Court. I think that his opinions are poorly written. I just don't think that he's done a good job as a Supreme Court justice."
I think your answers are poorly written and that you're an embarrassment to the Senate.

7. Rep. Nancy Pelosi:
"We share a fundamental principle - the belief that diversity is the backbone of our communities."
Damn, and I thought it was just being Americans.

6. Sen. Mary Landrieu:
"If one person criticizes them or says one more thing - including the president of the United States - he will hear from me," she said on the ABC program. "One more word about it after this show airs and I might likely have to punch him. Literally."
Oooo, I'm scared!

5. "Rev" Jesse Jackson:
"Katrina hit with nature's fury. But the suffering in the storm's wake should spark American fury. Nature did its worst, but the suffering and human toll have been greatly magnified by an unconscionable failure of leadership."
Failing unconscionably is something at which you are quite adept.

4.Paul "The Forehead" Begala:
"They want to kill me and my children if they can. But if they just kill me and not my children, they want my children to be comforted -- that while they didn't protect me because they cut my taxes, my children won't have to pay any money on the money they inherit. That is bulls*** national defense, and we should say that."

3. Ted 'hic' Kennedy:
"He must show that he is in the mainstream of modern judicial thought and that he would not use an ideologically motivated interpretation of our Constitution or laws to reverse the hard-fought gains we have made to make this nation more just."
Translation: 'hic' I don't wanna have to 'hic' exshplane what I really think!

2. Ted 'hic' Kennedy: (He's stuck far enough on stupid to rate 2 quotes)
"We were not able to provide for the safety and security of all our citizens, but allowed race and class to devastate them."
Who's this "we" homey?

1. John F"ing" Kerry (did you know he served in Vietnam?)
"Brownie is to Katrina what Paul Bremer is to peace in Iraq; what George Tenet is to slam-dunk intelligence; what Paul Wolfowitz is to parades paved with flowers in Baghdad," Kerry said. "The bottom line is simple. The 'we'll-do-whatever-it-takes' administration doesn't have what it takes to get the job done."
I'm sure Mr. Kerry has another "Underpants Gnome" like plan on his website.