Friday, December 02, 2005

No S**t News!

Yesterday, it was all over the MSM news that all hell was breaking loose in Ramadi as armed gunmen were terrorizing the city. "The sky is falling! It's a quagmire! Bush Lied!".

What was the source of this breaking news?

Capt B has the real scoop in THE NEWS STOOPER:

A continuous replaying report came on how multiple government facilities and bases were attacked in downtown Ramadi, Iraq on Thursday. They continued to show video of masked men shooting down a street (which should be criminal, if a US reporter cooperates with and films the enemy at their location and aides them in any way, he should be tried for treason and executed in public if found guilty). But wait a second, the report and video don’t match, but who back in the states would notice so lets role this footage and fool the sheep who follow our every word. They are too stupid and they won’t know. Its video of anywhere but Ramadi. How do we know?? oh because we were downtown Ramadi when all the “attacks” were suppose to have happened.

[...]Holy BAT shit Robin, I'm in the wrong work. I should start a news agency called “No shit news” and when I don’t have anything to report I would print “I no shit don’t have a damn thing to say” at least it would be honest news unlike these walking frauds.

I kinda like that idea! NSNews Service. Let's come up with a tag line or motto for it.